Ursynus

This past weekend, my good friend, Petitepoussin ,visited from the West Coast. She had a silly hat party and invited not only my girlfriend M. and I, but my mother and brother as well. I wore a grey beret with a bow, M. wore a bright baseball cap, and we convinced my mother to wear a helmut from the local gas company for whom my father works.We had a great time eating and drinking and listening to my mother tell everyone that I was making fun of her. Most of the time, I was not, some of the time I was. (Just a little)

While every single person at the party had arrived wearing a silly hat, my mother was convinced that we were trying to trick her so we could laugh at her silly hat. Of course, the plot to fool my mother does not extend as far to everyone invited to the party, and we did not call them and convince them to pretend it was a silly hat party. But, my mother was still suspicious and took off her hat almost immediately.

At one point, my mother started speaking to a woman in her twenties. The woman told her that she went to Ursynus college.

My mother immediately shouts across the room to M. and I, “this young lady went to Uranus  college, where L. went!”

Now, I did not hear the mispronounciation. But M. did. And while my mother went back to the conversation, M. started shaking with laughter. It took me five minutes to get her to tell me what happened.

She tried saying it directly, but it was too much for her.

Finally, tears in her eyes she attempted to list the planets.

“You know the last few?” she asked, choking her laughter down to a small wimper.

I rolled my eyes, “Yup.”

“No, no! You have to say them!” she insisted.

I thought about the time Screech told Lisa to remember MVEMJSNUP on Saved by the Bell.

“Saturn, Neptune, Uranus…” I stopped, feeling bad that Pluto has been demoted to dwarf planet.

M. lost it. Howling she said, “Yes, that’s it! That’s what she called Ursynus college!”

Finally in on the joke, I laughed until tears ran down my cheeks.  I laughed harder when I realized what a task it must have been for the girl to whom my mother was speaking to not laugh in her face.  Later, she told us it was incredibly difficult.

My mother, concerned about all the commotion turned to us and yelled, “are you two making fun of me?!”

“Of course not,” I said.

 

nerdy cat 2.

Accesories.

Remember how I’ve been on crutches for six weeks because I sprained my ankle? Well, I was doing much better, and then…  I sprained it again.  Now I have a big black walking boot that goes up to my knee and makes a lovely accessory for 97 degree Manhattan weather.

It looks a bit like this:

No, that’s not my leg.  But thanks for asking.

nerdy flower.

Where’s Spoon?

When I wake up this morning, I realize the kitten is missing.

In the past, she has been under the couch.

Was she under the couch?  No.

She has been on the top shelf of the closet.

Was she on the top shelf of the closet?  Nope, not there.

In the cabinet?

The stove?

The freezer?

Nah, No, Nope.

At this point, we begin to worry.  But we laugh at ourselves.  How could the kitten have gotten out of our 11th floor apartment?

Several hours later, we have torn apart the laundry, searched through all three closets, and even checked the bathtub more than once.

We decide to make signs.  They feature a picture of our kitten, and say, “Have you seen me?” As well as our phone numbers and “please call.”  We are still laughing, but less now.  Where could she be hiding?

An hour later, we get a call.  She is outside, hiding below an air conditioner!

Now, I ask you, did she:

A) jump out the 11th floor window, and somehow turn out just fine?  (The air conditioner was exactly 11 stories below our open kitchen window)

or

B) Get out our apartment door, make it on to the elevator, get off at the Lobby and get past two double doors without anyone noticing?

Since our kitten does not speak any English, we may never know.

Vomiting

For reasons too embarrassing to mention, I’ve been googling love advice columns.  Ok, I’m a little obsessed with them recently, and wonder often, who is reading them.  Of course, the answer is me.  In one advice column, I found the following quote:

Think before you open your mouth. It’s a bit difficult to suck those stupid words back in, kind of like throwing up on someone. It’s hard to undo it.

This is such a simple concept, and yet, it is something  with which I often struggle, and which I certainly know my significant other struggles.  In fact, it doesn’t just apply to love.  There are plenty of public figures who have had significant public vomits recently.  I won’t mention them here, so they don’t get embarrassed.

So, I urge you all, to please, for the love of Pete, stop vomiting all over each other.  And me.  Thanks.

nerdy puppies.

Ok, there isn’t anything particularly nerdy about these dogs, but they are incredibly cute and it looks like it says “nerd” on her sweatshirt, right?

Oh, I mean, um, er…

Don’t worry, I already looked it up, it’s a company that makes these:

Nice.

nerdy worm.

popemobile.

Let’s just say you have a sprained ankle.

And let’s just say the pope is visiting your town.

And let’s just say because of said sprained ankle, you have to take the bus everywhere but since the pope is is here so all the roads are blocked off so it takes you three fucking hours to get to class while he rides around in his stupid fucking popemobile!!!

Would you be mad?

nerdy, sweater-wearing k9.